Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize