Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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