My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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