She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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