I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
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