did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
my phone needs a breathalizer
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Randomize
