Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize