She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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