i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
