Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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