So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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