there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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