We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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