I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
