one might say we're banned from that church
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
