By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize