and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
This is my gift to your gina
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
