doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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