We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
