The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
