...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
