what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
