I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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