I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
