Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
