If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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