how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Randomize
