do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize