Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
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