man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
