She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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