Buhtt sex?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Be still, my beating vagina.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
