Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
this hospital has no fireball
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
sex in a hospital.. check
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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