Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
