so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
