sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
