There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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