dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
