Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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