But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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