Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'm jealous of your bromance
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
She told me I should be a condom model.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
