You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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