The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
