I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
