I am in a vortex of obligation.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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