I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize