I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize