he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
