when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
