Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
