Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
