I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
