he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Randomize
