I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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