He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
cat food counts as protein by the way
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
