Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Ladies don't puke and tell
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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