I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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