Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize