i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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