you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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